Self-hate is NOT Humility

One of my closest friends and her sweet daughter have a wonderful blog, The Rasbeary Patch, and I wanted to share one of their posts. I have known the author, Beth Pritchard since she was just a little tiny Rasbeary and now she's a 22 year old married women. She's always been a wonderful testimony has grown to be very wise. Please leave me a comment and go by and visit The Rasbeary Patch and let Beth know that she was a blessing. 

Humility. This is a trait that many people-Christian or not- desire, yet few seem to find it. It is the opposite of arrogance, and very often misunderstood.

The Bible commands us to humble ourselves before God, and to each other. Blessing are promised to every one who obeys…and who doesn’t want God’s blessing! Yet somehow it is rare to know someone you could characterize as truly humble. Why is this? I believe it is because we don’t really know what humility is.

1. What Humility is NOT

A. Humility is NOT an absence of pride.

We instinctively shudder at the word “pride” as Christians, because we know that it is at the root of 33% all sin. (The lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, and the pride of life are the temptations to sin according to 1 John 2.) However, there is a healthy pride that is acceptable. This would be the content regard for an action or person that gives satisfaction or joy. For example, it is not wrong to be satisfied with a job well done or with your child’s accomplishment. We naturally crave success and accomplishment. We desire a purpose- a way to make a difference in our world- a way to please God. As I will explain more fully later, what we want to avoid is conceit.

B. Humility is NOT timidity.

Although they probably don’t realize it, many people subconsciously think that to be humble, you must be introverted, shy, quiet, or a follower. This is NOT true. There is nothing wrong with being introverted, shy, quiet, or a follower but there is also nothing wrong with being extroverted, outgoing, loud, or a leader! God has made each of us different: we can’t all be the leader any more than we can all be the followers. So don’t automatically assume that because someone is timid that they are humble: the words are not synonymous.

3. Humility is NOT self-hate.

Somehow we have the idea that the way to be humble is to beat ourselves down and tell ourselves we can’t do anything. Example: I realize that I am growing conceited about piano playing. So I tell myself that I am not as good as I think I am, that others are better than me, that other people are lying when they say I do well. While this is might succeed in making me sad, this does not succeed in making me humble. God made who I am, and doesn’t intend for me to be ashamed about it. I am convinced that many people have “low self-esteem” not because other people are bullying them, but because they are bullying themselves! God does not want us to live defeated! He wants us to live abundantly through Christ.

So then what is humility? I’m glad you asked.

1. What Humility IS…

A. Humility IS accepting who you are.

Each one of us is different: different talents, abilities, experiences, families… and the list goes on and on. Some of us are musical, some are artistic, some are organizers, some are teachers, some are physically beautiful, some are leaders: but none of us are all of the above. Humility is accepting your abilities and disabilities with equal grace. You don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed about yourself! God gave that talent to you to honor Him with. You can be confident in who God made you. He makes no mistakes!

B. Humility IS accepting who Christ is.

Humbling ourselves before God should not be hard…yet it is. This is because we have a tendency to become conceited about the blessings He has given us, as if we were responsible! Christ is deserving of all our praise, honor, and worship. Anything that we are and have is from Him and through Him. Left to our own devices, we would be in hell RIGHT NOW. When we realize how wicked and deprived our own hearts are, then we can understand the love that God showed to us, and humility will become natural.

C. Humility IS the opposite of conceit.

No one likes an arrogant, conceited, prideful person. The person who is always right, who can’t be corrected, who stares in the mirror, who puts others down, who is rude to cashiers and waiters, who is racist, who looks down their nose at every other person they meet: this is the person we avoid whenever possible. The definition of conceit is “too much pride in oneself, one’s abilities, or one’s accomplishments.” A conceited person is not just proud of her paint job in the church nursery, she also feels that

D. Humility IS beautiful.

Nothing is more beautiful than a woman who is comfortable in her own skin. You can pile on the makeup and trendy clothes and anti-aging serum all you want, but if you aren’t beautiful inside, it will be quickly seen through. When you accept who you are and who Christ is, the joy will flood your soul! No more stress lines from worrying about what people think, no more migraines from jealousy and rage, no more stomach upset from fear and discontent! And just as He promised, if you humble yourself- He will lift you up.