For that which I do I allow not: for what I would , that do I not; but what I hate , that do I . Romans 7:15
So at least I'm in good company. Anyhow, that's exactly where I find myself today. In so many more ways that I care to admit I am there.
- Running - Okay first off, I am absolutely such a bum lately when it comes to running. I know I should and the weather isn't that bad,
not to mention the treadmill in the basement. Plus I know the longer I wait, it's been a week, the harder it's gonna be to start back. My dear, sweet, disciplined husband runs every other day and I know I am falling behind and before long he'll be out running races without me and that in itself makes me want to rebel. I hate it! I know I need to and I actually want to but I just can't seem to make myself. Urgg!
- Eating - Here we go! My eating has been so good for so long and I have almost nothing to show for it. I am completely at a stand still 15 lbs above my goal and I
don't like dislike hatedespise it!! I have been so good and I just can't seem to get past this mountain. I have gone back to the beginning and while it seems to be working it only works when I eat way under my allowed food. Anyhoo, I made sugar free, lowcarb, gluten free cookies yesterday and although they're good for me I probably shouldn't eat 10! I know I shouldn't but I am in such a rebellious state lately that guess what I did...I ate 10!
- Preparing - There are so many things I should be working on right now, from Sunday School lessons to grocery lists. I have a ton of stuff to do for our upcoming furlough including a new prayer card and graduation invitations for Hannah. We have guests coming in March and my guestroom isn't ready and my garage needs a total spring cleaning. I know I need to be redeeming the time but in this moment right now, I just don't want to!!!
- Creating - I have stacks of stuff that needs to be finished and I can't seem to get the "umph" to get up and do it. My Christmas quilt is almost finished, and no, I didn't finish it for Christmas. Honestly I got down to the last 4 rows of quilting and then the binding and I would have been finished.
- Blogging - Oh how I love my blog! Did you know my blog started in June of '06? It's old! I have kept it going all these years and I really love it but I can't seem to get the motivation to write or post. I'm in a blogger's rut. I know I should and simply because of that I can't seem to get it in gear and post (except for this one). I have missed reading all your blogs this last few days but again, as much as I know I should and I want to I can't get it going.
I did great last week. I cleaned out my closet and my dressing room with the help of Zoi.
I know, it wasn't terrible but there was tons of stuff I couldn't even wear just taking up space. So I did what I read on on Arlene's blog Nanaland;
PURGE, TOSS AND ENJOY THE LOSS,and I did and I'm enjoying the loss. Clutter is so demanding of time and effort and we're better without it.
Zoi was so helpful, she always is. I let her be my helper 'cause Hannah would have just moved all my junk to her room and that's not cool.
I finally finished my closet and my whole dressing room. I love how clean it is and how organized. I still wanna get some boxes from IKEA to organize the top of the closet but that'll be for next week when I'm not so rebellious.
Oh yea and before anyone asks; Yes, that is all my clothes minus my outerwear and drawer stuff. I'm a very simple lady, not at all fussy.
I also cleaned out all the drawers in the bathroom last week and then kitchen cabinet with all my towels and cleaning supplies. I also deep cleaned my bedroom and living room.
I just remembered that I totally cleaned the foyer hall and washed the windows too. I forgot about that. Also, I washed all my big leaf plants with mild soapy water. Winter is hard on them and a few in the foyer had a strange moldy stuff on them.
We met friends Friday for pool and dinner. Went to the capital city of Zagreb to visit a member in the hospital on Saturday. We had church on Sunday and then yesterday was Pro-bowl football day with a fellow missionary friend and today I have a sick 17 year old.
So after telling you guys all that I'm thinking that maybe I'm not as rebellious as I thought, maybe i'm just really tired. I'm not sure if that's true but I'd much rather be worn out than rebellious. Who knows, maybe this post was just what I needed to get me out of my funk and back in the land of the living and productive.
What is that I feel?
Could it be motivation?
Oh yea it is!!
Motivation to get up and refill my half-empty IKEA coffee cup (the only thing that made it out of the IKEA bag that came to live in my foyer a month ago).