We've got a lot done so that takes time but honestly I've spent a small while feeling quite depressed. I can usually roll with the punches but this month back has been brutal.
Okay, remember my post 10 Things I've Learned My First Week of Living in My Empty Nest, well forget everything I said! Apparently what I learned from living my first week in an empty nest is...absolutely nothing!
I was living in a pipe dream. Reality hadn't hit yet. I thought everything was smooth sailing when in reality a storm, a big, black, ugly, storm was coming. Not only did we have an extremely empty nest to deal with we also had to learn to live knowing that three-fifths of our little family was on another continent on the otherside of the globe. It's been a lesson in faith to realize our children are for once out of our reach. We've always trusted the Lord but now it's test time! our hands are tied so we're going to have to truly trust in God to protect them.
I also forgot about the culture shock we always feel when coming home or going to the States. Life is so drastically different and moves at different paces, it takes time to get used to that. I didn't realize or remember how lonely it gets here either. I'm sure I took for granted how easy the transition was going to be and how much I'd miss having children in the house. I am a mom, that's all I've ever been (other than loving and multi-faceted wife). So, transition? Yep, a big one!
The storm has come, a month long storm and I think I can see some blue peaking out from behind those black clouds. So, today for my To Do Tuesday, I have one item listed:
1. BE HAPPY!
I'm going to do my best today to acknowledge all I do have here and put aside all the thoughts about what or rather who I don't have here.
Life is about growing and changing and we're just in a metamorphosis right now, it's a little painful but I'm hoping to come through with beautiful wings and ready for my next phase of life.
Don't forget to link up, can't wait to see your To Do Tuesday!
Oh how I do understand...although my 18 yr old son still lives with us...long story...but I do understand about trusting the Lord....I like your outlook of being Happy.
ReplyDeleteThere are days when it dawns on me, one day, he will go, "Mom and Dad, I'm ready to leave now." (or something similar)---or when he will want to get married and have a family etc. Sorry, that didn't help, and I didn't mean for it to make you sad. I think as Mom's, the good Lord has blessed with that title of being "Mom", caregiver, whatever. And yes, it is hard to let go and trust in HIM. I struggle with that as well....
Blessings sweet friend. Blessings
Prayers for you, sweet friend.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you've been going through such a sad time. I've been thinking much of this since I know our time is soon coming too. Just sending our daughter to summer camp at the college she hopes to attend was REALLY hard. I think just because it made me realize for the first time that she will be many hours away from home and she will be there without us. So, I have been depressed AHEAD of time. Crazy, I know, but somehow I think I've been dreading her leaving our nest since she came to our nest. I have been praying for you ever since you've been home, but please know I will be continuing in prayer...
ReplyDeleteOur 3 are grown, gone, have children of their own. We are blessed to live in the same town, so my heart goes out to you. As a Mother, we want them 'under our wings' forever, but God has goals for them too. Praying for you to get the calm and peace you need to go forward.
ReplyDeleteI just can't sympathize. I still remember you saying how few dishes you had!!! LOL I can't imagine knowing my kids are that far away if anything were to come up. As a parent, I think we always want to be able to be there. Even though I'm a homeschool mom, I've tried to raise my kids to be able to be independent. I force them out of their comfort zones. BUT I am still right here if they were to need me, so I can understand how difficult the contrary must be! Our memory verse for Sunday School this month is this: For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and a sound mind. Meditate on that a while. You don't have to be fearful, and I realize you know that. But you have empowered your children with a good upbringing, given them love, and they have a sound mind to be able to face the world! You're all gonna be just fine. :) (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for the black clouds! It definitely is a hard transition when the kids move out. It was hard enough for us when it was just a few states away - I can't imagine a whole continent. Glad to hear some blue sky is peeking through and hope it will continue to more and more.
ReplyDeleteA good goal, Tori! Focusing on what we have is always the secret to being content.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, when our youngest daughter left the nest, I cried buckets of tears. But it does get better ... over time.
I can't even say that I "can imagine" what you are feeling. I can't begin to. BIG (((HUGS))) thannks for ALWAYS being so encouraging to me!
ReplyDeleteBless your heart. We have only one daughter and she lives just up the road from us....I can't imagine her being a continent away. Sending you love and hugs.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry. You are strong though and have Jesus and Johnny to get you through.
ReplyDeleteBeen there! Just don't try to fight your feelings. Acknowledge them and work through them. Skype or call as often as you can. Prayers for your kids are even more of a necessity now. I hadn't thought about the extra loneliness you would have without your kids there. It was an adjustment for me to become an empty nester but your kids were actually a way of combatting the loneliness of being on the mission field in a foreign country. I have missed my kids but now having grandkids makes it harder to be away from them. I have days when I stay on the couch and cry and long to see and hold them. But life in ministry doesn't allow that for long. There's too much to do. So, don't beat yourself up for missing them and longing for what used to be. Roll with your emotions cuz shoving them back too much can lead to a break down that could put you out of commission for longer.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't read this post before we corresponded about my daughter leaving home and how i would handle it. I'm sure we'll both be learning lots of new things in the next weeks and months.
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