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Am I Rebellious?




I hate it when I know I need to do something and since I know I should and it's expected it becomes crazy hard to do it. I'm not sure why I'm so rebellious, more so to myself than anyone else but I am and I admit it. I'm not totally in the dumps about it 'cause even Paul had the same problem;


For that which I do I allow not: for what I would , that do I not; but what I hate , that do I .     Romans 7:15

So at least I'm in good company. Anyhow, that's exactly where I find myself today. In so many more ways that I care to admit I am there.



  • Running - Okay first off, I am absolutely such a bum lately when it comes to running. I know I should and the weather isn't that bad, not to mention the treadmill in the basement. Plus I know the longer I wait, it's been a week, the harder it's gonna be to start back. My dear, sweet, disciplined husband runs every other day and I know I am falling behind and before long he'll be out running races without me and that in itself makes me want to rebel. I hate it! I know I need to and I actually want to but I just can't seem to make myself. Urgg!



  • Eating - Here we go! My eating has been so good for so long and I have almost nothing to show for it. I am completely at a stand still 15 lbs above my goal and I don't like dislike hate despise  it!! I have been so good and I just can't seem to get past this mountain. I have gone back to the beginning and while it seems to be working it only works when I eat way under my allowed food. Anyhoo, I made sugar free, lowcarb, gluten free cookies yesterday and although they're good for me I probably shouldn't eat 10! I know I shouldn't but I am in such a rebellious state lately that guess what I did...I ate 10!



  • Preparing - There are so many things I should be working on right now, from Sunday School lessons to grocery lists. I have a ton of stuff to do for our upcoming furlough including a new prayer card and graduation invitations for Hannah. We have guests coming in March and my guestroom isn't ready and my garage needs a total spring cleaning. I know I need to be redeeming the time but in this moment right now, I just don't want to!!!



  • Creating - I have stacks of stuff that needs to be finished and I can't seem to get the "umph" to get up and do it. My Christmas quilt is almost finished, and no, I didn't finish it for Christmas. Honestly I got down to the last 4 rows of quilting and then the binding and I would have been finished.
     I have new pillows I bought still in the shrink wrap waiting to be covered. I have an IKEA bag setting in my foyer filled with goodies for sprucing up my kitchen and there it sets! I know I could finish it in a few hours but I can't seem to get my keester up and moving.
       


  • Blogging - Oh how I love my blog! Did you know my blog started in June of '06? It's old! I have kept it going all these years and I really love it but I can't seem to get the motivation to write or post. I'm in a blogger's rut. I know I should and simply because of that I can't seem to get it in gear and post (except for this one). I have missed reading all your blogs this last few days but again, as much as I know I should and I want to I can't get it going. 


I did great last week. I cleaned out my closet and my dressing room with the help of Zoi.
I know, it wasn't terrible but there was tons of stuff I couldn't even wear just taking up space. So I did what I read on on Arlene's blog Nanaland;

PURGE, TOSS AND ENJOY THE LOSS, 
and I did and I'm enjoying the loss. Clutter is so demanding of time and effort and we're better without it.




Zoi was so helpful, she always is. I let her be my helper 'cause Hannah would have just moved all my junk to her room and that's not cool. 

I finally finished my closet and my whole dressing room. I love how clean it is and how organized. I still wanna get some boxes from IKEA to organize the top of the closet but that'll be for next week when I'm not so rebellious. 

Oh yea and before anyone asks; Yes, that is all my clothes minus my outerwear and drawer stuff. I'm a very simple lady, not at all fussy.

I also cleaned out all the drawers in the bathroom last week and then kitchen cabinet with all my towels and cleaning supplies. I also deep cleaned my bedroom and living room. 

I just remembered that I totally cleaned the foyer hall and washed the windows too. I forgot about that. Also, I washed all my big leaf plants with mild soapy water. Winter is hard on them and a few in the foyer had a strange moldy stuff on them. 

We met friends Friday for pool and dinner. Went to the capital city of Zagreb to visit a member in the hospital on Saturday. We had church on Sunday and then yesterday was Pro-bowl football day with a fellow missionary friend and today I have a sick 17 year old. 

So after telling you guys all that I'm thinking that maybe I'm not as rebellious as I thought, maybe i'm just really tired. I'm not sure if that's true but I'd much rather be worn out than rebellious. Who knows, maybe this post was just what I needed to get me out of my funk and back in the land of the living and productive. 

Oh wait!

What is that I feel?

Could it be motivation? 

Oh yea it is!! 

Motivation to get up and refill my half-empty IKEA coffee cup (the only thing that made it out of the IKEA bag that came to live in my foyer a month ago).

14 comments:

  1. Thanks for the shout out Tori and your closet looks FABULOUS! I have mine sorted out for now but how easy it is to let it get into a mess again. And that quilt is making me covetous...I look forward to seeing it when it is completed. I know you are going to get there. As for discipline...like you I am finding it hard to get out and walk again as well as being disciplined in eating. I have lost 14 pounds but I need to lose that many more. So I feel your pain! And when you have a disciplined hubby that just makes it harder!lol....Maybe this week we can accomplish great things!!

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  2. It sounds to me that you have been very busy despite the IKEA bag in the foyer. I tend to get that way too and that scripture from Paul really speaks to me and helps me realize that I'm not so different from others. Have a blessed week. I love the way your closet looks. And Zoi is an adorable helper!

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  3. There are so many of the things you mentioned that I have been putting off too. Like the closet...mine really needs purged. Maybe seeing yours will motivate me. Sure hope so. :)

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  4. You sound very busy to me! Just because there are a few things that are being let go, is that really rebellion? If it is I guess we could all say we are a little rebellious! :)
    Have a great day Tori!

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  5. It's not rebellion. It's called winter blues I think! When the days get shorter we are naturally more tired (since God made us to work in the day and rest at night) and once we get down on ourselves about one thing it is easy to allow ourselves to get down about other things. It sounds to me like you did quite a lot even tho you may have put off some things. Also, when Bob did Atkins back in the day, if he hit a plateau he was advised to have a cheat day. Eat some carbs or satisfy a sweet tooth and it tends to get things going again. The next day go right back on.

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  6. As I was reading the second part of your post, I was thinking, "Well, it looks like you HAVE been busy!" Good work.

    I get into funks like that when I don't want to do any of the things I should be doing. Just making a start helps - once begun is half done, as they say.

    I really need to get going on exercising. I always feel better afterward, but when I start it is through gritted teeth. I haven't gotten started back up since before Christmas and need to.

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  7. Lol, I don't think it is rebellion, it's tiredness! I bet the first really sunny day that comes along, you'll get back into the swing of things.

    You should pat yourself on the back for doing the closet!

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  8. WOW, Tori, I was reading down through the list of all the things you have just done...that's some major deep cleaning you have going on. Yeah...I think you are tired...NOT rebellious. Rest up, Friend!

    Hugs (and I'd hug you just the same, if you were rebellious. ;))

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  9. P.S. Sorry...I meant to tell you that I love your Christmas quilt! Beautiful!

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  10. Congrats on getting your closet cleaned out! It looks *so* much better! I am always so happy when I finally get rid of "stuff." This winter I've had a few jobs helping ladies pack their houses for moves; it made me realize how much unnecessary stuff people keep, and motivated me to get rid of some of mine.

    I know exactly how you feel though. It can be very hard to get the things we need to do done. I think of that verse of Paul's every once in a while myself. The other day I was doing one of those things that I should do (but intensely dislike doing)--sewing--, and started to think of the verse in a new (and probably scripturally incorrect) light: as an overcomer I'm denying myself by not doing what I want to do, and doing the things "I hate" but should do! (Eh, that's one more reason to dislike sewing--it skews my interpretation of scripture!) In any case, I'm glad to be successfully done with that project, and enjoying the fruits (stitches) of my labor.

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  11. Great job on the de-cluttering project! Focus on that great accomplishment and enjoy it!

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  12. Hi Tori! Girl, I could follow you step by step with your 'fails' to get motivated. It's so human! But look at you, that closet is amazing, and your mojo is back. Yay!
    You've been blogging a long time! Congratulations, that's a lot of posts, right? I'm at a year and a half and often wonder what the heck I'm gonna blog about. You are an inspiration to me, and to everyone who stops by. Keep writing! Keep running! We're all behind you 100%.
    Sunday blessings,
    Ceil

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  13. You've been blogging over 8 years? I didn't even know about blogs 8 years ago. Reading about how much you've been organizing has reminded me about my list of chores. Yes, so far it's just a list, but I need to get started on things. I do love how you've transformed that closet. It really looks great... :)

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