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YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN AUGUST WHEN.

Well I'm usually pretty glad to be in Croatia and not in Texas in August but this year is an exception. It's as hot here in Croatia as it is in Texas and that's ridiculous! You know the problem? Very few places have A/C and our churches for sure don't have A/C. 

Tonight in church our pastor's little girl walked up to me and asked me, "do you know the difference between the back of my neck and hell (actually the word is Pakao in Croatian and it's not used as a curse word)?" I said, "Nah, what's the difference?" She smiled and said, "about 2 degrees." HA, she's a hoot!

Anyhow, here's an ode to Summer in Texas and in my case Croatia. 

1. The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground

2. The trees are whistling for the dogs

3. The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance

4. Hot water now comes out of both taps

5. You can make sun tea instantly

6. You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron

7. The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly

8. You discover that in August it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car

9. You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window

10. You actually burn your hand opening the car door

11. You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m

12. Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, 'What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death

13. You realize that asphalt has a liquid state

14. The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper

15. Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs

16. The cows are giving evaporated milk

Ah, what a place to call home.. .
God Bless The Lone Star State of Texas................

siggy

5 comments:

  1. Those are so funny! Some of them make me think of Arkansas! Or even Oklahoma. lol! I especially love #2 and #12! :D

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  2. I read this to my kiddos and they enjoyed it! Three of my four were born in Texas. :-)

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  3. Funny! It also sounds like Missouri! The humidity here is awful! I know from experience it is in Texas too. People in Oklahoma THINK it is humid but they have no idea! With the way the wind blows there they only get humidity about three days a year in August. In Missouri the humidity and heat starts (normally except this year) about the end of May and continues til September!!

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  4. Those were all really good. Number 8 made me snort. hehe
    ~Kristi

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