Nov 14, 2008

So I'm Sitting....

...in the van on the way to soul-winning feeling pretty down. After talking with my best friend for a little while and her filling me in on all the happenings and conferences in the states I really began to feel sorry for myself. All I could think about it how life is always the same in Croatia and how we're missing out on all the fun and fellowship in the states. Missing out on seeing our sweet nieces Madison and Kaitlyn growing up. Just missing family.

We have been in Croatia going on 9 years all alone, waiting for someone to come. Loneliness is one of the hardest things to deal with, isolation, it's really indescribable until you have felt it, really felt it for years and years.

Anyhow, there I was sitting in the van, almost in tears, dreading going into town to pass out tracts when I hear Hannah (11 years old, our youngest) singing in the back seat. She sings, "My house is full but my field is empty, who will go and work for me today...it seems my children all want to stay around my table, no one wants to work in my field, no one wants to work in my field. " Suddenly it was like God was speaking to me, this was His field, this was the place to be working, not sitting around His table enjoying His goods in the states. It was profound! He really spoke to me and helped me through a difficult night.

Anyhow, I'm not in tears anymore, still a bit lonely but comforted. He is so good to speak directly to us when we need Him.

I'm thankful that He called us to Croatia, it's sometimes hard but He's worth it!!

Then saith he unto his disciples, The harvest truly is plenteous, but the labourers are few;
Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth labourers into his harvest.
Matthew 9:38-38 KJV

23 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:10 AM

    Often out of the mouth of babes come the words from God! You really never do know who or what or where God will show himself and give you courage, hope and strength. Huggles

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  2. Tori, we were praying for missionaries just like you yesterday morning in our prayer time. I think that's great that the Lord offered you the right encouragement at the right time!

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  3. Anonymous1:53 AM

    Oh Tori, Bless your heart.....

    What a loving and tender reminder our Lord gave you through your sweet daughter.

    {{{HUGS}}}

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  4. You may not be in tears, but you sure brought tears to my eyes! Doesn't God speak to us in the most wonderful yet simple ways!
    I can't imagine being away from home and family for so long...THANK YOU for being willing to go and serve! May God richly bless you and yours!

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  5. Oh, my heart feels your feelings as I read! I am so glad that you were ministered by the song of your daughter...it's so nice to have our kids--isn't it?! They often are the ones that keep me going. They don't cry(too much), they aren't the ones complaining of things they miss...they just deal with it and go on. I must learn from them.

    As long as our God still calls us where we live, we can stay...I pray the lonely feelings are covered with His grace and peace.
    Love to you in Croatia from Russia!
    Karen

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  6. Oh Tori,
    I am sorry you are lonley but you are right he IS worth it... Its so amazing how he will give us what we need JUST when we need it... Just prayed for you Tori!

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  7. **rolls eyes** Sorry, that specks of time comment was from me! I was signed in under my photography blog and it took me commenting on t hree different blogs to figure that out! UGH.

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  8. Anonymous5:59 PM

    Our children are so wise :-) I'm so glad the Lord used your child to give you spark :-)

    I'm sorry I have not been here in such a while. We finally arrived in Oregon, on Tuesday. Now I can catch up. I love the new look on your blog, btw :-)!!!

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  9. I'm so sorry you are alone. I can only imagine how difficult it must be. I never felt lonely until we became a pastor. Even in the states, the Lord's work is very lonely work at times. What a blessing that HE will never leave us! I'm praying for you.

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  10. What a blessing our children are :o) I thank God for them!

    And you are right, serving the Lord is worth all the hardships!

    (((hugs)))

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  11. Amen! That was a blessing to read.
    I can't wait till I get to come over again and spend some more time in the streets of that beautiful country and see more of the Croatian people Gloriously saved for all eternity.
    Praying for results for your missions conference - that God would break everyone's heart all over again for the lost.
    God Save Croatia!

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  12. I'm praying for you. I can only mildly understand as I agree with the other lady, loneliness comes with the territory of ministry life. I imagine it must be so much worse on a foreign mission field. It was hard for me just being in another state from my extended family. Your post made me cry but it was tears of compassion. Isn't it wonderful how often God uses our kids to teach us?! He uses them profoundly to teach and speak to us.

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  13. Oh Tori!
    Loneliness can be a real
    discouragement. Just know that its worth it all. You'll never, ever regret anything you gave up.
    When Jesus comes, and He's coming soon, you'll be so glad you didn't give up or give in.

    BTW, I love that song!

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  14. Funny that you would post this, I was sitting on the couch knitting, thinking about all the people that I have met since I have moved here. Nice people, but they all have their own busy lives, and I wonder if I will find a good friend among them. I hope that God will bring you a kindred spirit.

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  15. Don't you love it when God works like that...through our kids.

    Please know how thankful I am that you guys are there. I pray you'll have some co-workers soon....but until then....you guys are it. Hang in there....we're praying for you!

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  16. I am so glad that Hannah was born, perhaps God gave her to you for "just such a time as this." Maybe she was acting as your Ester. I am just thankful that she was there and God spoke through her to your need, dear Tori.

    I know it must be very lonely in many ways but when you get to heaven it will be worth it all. Thank you and your family for your faithfulness. You went even though you did not really feel like going.

    I know of a missionary who was in the Canary Islands once. He did not feel like going one day but WENT anyway, giving a man a tract. That man ended up coming to the states to be trained and now is back home in Ghana, Africa preaching to his own people. Many churches have been established and many many souls have been won because ONE person WENT even though he did not feel like going. I pray your efforts will bring forth much fruit.

    I am hugging you tight!!!! I wish I could have a cup of coffee with you and just visit for a while but I am so thankful that I have this means of hearing from you now and again. God bless you, Tori and your family, connie from Texas

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  17. It's amazing how God will use our children to speak to our hearts.

    Loving you with prayers and tender thoughts, Tori!

    ~Kristi

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  18. Tori, Thank you so much for sharing your post! The Lord has really been opening my eyes to what missionary wives really go through. Our ladies group at church as been trying to send boxes to our missionary wives filled with things for them. Thank you for obeying God, and being an inspiration to many others.

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  19. Tori, I'm sorry to read about the loneliness you've been feeling. I'm sure it has to be so difficult missing your relatives, friends and living in the US in general. On the other hand, I'm so glad that God spoke to you in this very special way and brought you peace and a renewed sense of purpose for being in Crotia, doing His will.

    Sending you hugs, and wishing you many sweet blessings today and every day! :)

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  20. Oh, what a blessing, how the Lord encouraged you in discouragement and used your child to do so! That is precious! And what a song to sing! We love that song.
    I can only imagine the depths of lonliness you encounter sometimes.
    Purposing to pray for you.

    ~ Christina

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  21. What a sweet spirit your little girl has! I think that means the Lord is blessing you and your hubby for staying faithful to Him -- even during such difficult, lonely times. :o) Thank you for going and bearing fruit to others' accounts who cannot go to the uttermost parts of the earth themselves. *hugs*

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  22. Tori...HUGS from my neck of the woods..I know that isolation, we spent 11 years overseas...missed birthdays, weddings,baby showers etc....yet we knew we were called to stay...and we have never regretted it, I almost envy you, in not a sinful way...
    yet...I know how it is ...I am so thankful that life has changed because of the internet....and cheap phone calls...
    and I am thankful, that you as a mother, are training your children for the Lord..and how the Lord has used them as a reminder...
    now my friend...the field indeed is ready, and someone is reaping...either the Lord of the enemy..we need you there...
    Thank you for serving for all of us.
    Deby

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  23. Anonymous9:47 PM

    Praise the Lord, Tori! This post was so special to read! God truly is so good to His children. Thank you for all that you and your family are doing. You will never be sorry for serving HIM!

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