...If You Faint Not

I was always a kid who made due with whatever life threw my way. Growing up in poverty in a drug-dealer's home made circumstances sometimes unpredictable. While my Daddy made many mistakes he loved me and did his best to protect me. There were many days without electricity or water and getting ready for school was impossible a real feat. I learned to do much with very little. I learned to endure. To take whatever the day brought and deal with it, struggle through, and move on. While many people would pity my childhood, I don't.

I'm the sorta gal that realizes what has to be done and if I don't like it I make myself like it, if that makes any sense at all. Growing up I always wanted to have one child and I was going to spoil that child. When I married Johnny he informed me that he wanted 7 children, WHAT?. I was in shock but I soon decided that if this was what had to happen I was going to make it my desire also. Before long I dreamed of having a home full of little children calling me Mama Mother Dearest.

Not in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would one day be a preacher's wife much less a missionary to a foreign land. When I stop and think about where He brought me from and where He took me to I stand amazed. Here I am, a little dirty girl from the wrong side of the tracks, literally and my life amazes me.

I have no complaints about life at all. I don't feel as if I have missed out on something or that there is something I deserve which I don't have. I have no complaints! God has been so good, giving me more than I deserve while giving me less than I deserve. He amazes me.

In 2000 when we arrived in Croatia with our 3 little children in tow we had no idea what to expect. There were no American friends waiting on us, no one to explain life to us, it was just us and the dear Croatian people God sent us to. That first year was an experience of grace. I felt loneliness like I had never felt before. I watched the children cry for their grandparents and just as I had been trained so many years before I sucked it up, dealt with it and moved on. This was God's will for our life, and I knew that so I was going to make the best of it. I decided to make myself love this place.

Here I sit in my living room thinking to myself, I love this place. I love the house God has given us, I love the church I go to, I love the people I work with, I love the Croatian people as if they were my people, I love the little Gypsy children who run to me at the children's meetings and give me hugs, I love the weather here, I love the food and especially the deserts, I love being needed and loved, I love the joy I get living for someone else, I love my dog, I love having coffee with friends in the square, I love the will of God for me.

Hey it's a long road. I know if I had given up, I would have never reached this place in my life. If I hadn't purposed in my heart to love the will of God I would be unsatisfied, unfulfilled and who knows where we would be now. I had to consciously decided to love the will of God for my life. I remember fighting negative feelings and having to tell myself that I wouldn't allow it. I didn't allow my self to ask, "what if?" I refused to even entertain the idea that there was something else. I knew His will for me and I decided to accept it and make the best of it. Now...after all all these years His will is truly my delight. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else. I wouldn't want to leave these people or this place. I wouldn't want to be anyone else, my life is a picture of God's foreknowledge and a little stick-to-it-tive-ness, as my Preacher would say. If we had decided it was too hard, or entertained ideas about what it would be like somewhere else we would have never made it to this place. This place of contentment.

God is so good to have a will for each of us, the problem is that we faint long before we arrive at that perfect will. It's not too difficult to be in the geographic will of God but it takes time to love being there. I see so many missionaries and young people these days who make decisions for God and never carry through. Or they arrive at His will and don't have the endurance or character to stick it out. Anything worth having takes work and sacrifice. If you will ever make it to that place of rest within His will you have to struggle through the tough times and there will be many. Life is hard, it throws stuff at us that we could never prepare for. It is hard, it will be hard. STICK IT OUT!! We will reap if we faint not but we have to endure. I makes me sad and ashamed that so many missionaries and pastors fall by the wayside daily. It's an epidemic. We have become soft and we faint too easily. The statistics for IFB missionaries as as follows:

1,000 American Missionaries return home each year

75% of missionaries return home within the first three years and never go back to a foreign field

43% of missionaries never complete deputation

These statistics are staggering! Are you kidding? Missionaries start deputation, travel and accept money for years sometimes and then just decide it's too difficult. Are you kidding me? That's dishonest! Some go to the field stay 2 years come home knowing they will never return and then travel for a year accepting money from churches knowing they'll never return. It's a shame and it's dishonest! 

What ever the missionaries and workers of the past had, we need it! We need to figure out how to find the strength to stay, to endure if we will ever make it to His perfect will for our lives. How many thousands have gone unsaved because a Christian quit and didn't endure? 

Over the last twelve 11years and 9 months we have seen more missionaries go then we have seen come. We are a shrinking population and as Christians we need must wake up, buck up, stand up or grow up, which ever is needed. 

This has been on my heart for so long. I don't like heavy blog posts but maybe just maybe someone is struggling to hang on. Contemplating quitting. Imagining brighter pastures. DON'T! 

Decide that His will is going to become your delight and put the time in to it that it'll take and one day...you'll find that perfect will and delight in it.

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in

due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Gal 6:9

Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall 

give thee the desires of thine heart. Psalm 37:4


Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Heb 13:5

Stinkin' Thinkin'

As we travel around to different places and meet different folks I am often amazed and how missionaries are looked at. Not only how laymen look at us but how missionaries look at themselves.

I am honestly really tired of hearing several phrases;

1. Oh you sacrifice so much.

2. Wow, I bet your glad to be back in the States.

3. You give up so much to serve the Lord.

These statements are repeated over and over again, so much that I can almost guarantee that I'll hear at least one in the next week. Somewhere along the way the view of missionaries turned negative. I mean in general people tend to think that the life of a missionary is hard and unrewarding, a drudgery if you will. Nothing could be farther from the truth. While serving the Lord on a foreign field can be hard and we do face some unique circumstances it's really no different that serving the Lord here. 

(So that no one thinks that I don't understand the spirit of these statements, I do. There was a time when I was a layman and I looked at missionaries in awe too. I understand that.) 

I'm so tired of hearing people talk about how being a missionary is more of a punishment than a honor. I'm especially tired of hearing missionaries whine about the life God has given them. Good night! Stop the whining already! Accept your orders for the Commander in Chief and learn to love it!! 

We need to get rid of this "stinkin' thinkin'". Hey, if the President asked you to be the Ambassador for the United States to a foreign country, that would be an honor. How much more of an honor is it for the King of Kings to ask you to be an Ambassador to a foreign country representing Heaven?

I think we need to rethink missions. Hey, I'm honored to be an Ambassador in Croatia and I wouldn't trade it for life in America for anything. His will is perfect!

Am I for smoking? No, I'm for the freedom to smoke!

Hey I am not a smoker and hate the smell of cigarettes but I'm totally for freedom. It's amazing to me which freedoms we are losing here in America the home of the "free".

I found this sign at a rest stop in Iowa and was appalled. I hate the nasty habit as much as any good Christian should but I love the freedom we as Americans are suppose to own  in this good ol' land of ours.  

This was a huge open rest area and there was this sign. NO SMOKING on the rest area grounds. I mean come on, is there not enough air? I mean really couldn't they at least have set aside a small area in the back corner for smokers? Was it really necessary to completely outlaw smoking in the great out doors. If you read the sign it's hilarious; you can only smoke in your personal vehicle. No smoke is allowed to escape into the air. Honestly is someone going to be standing there making sure the windows aren't cracked? 

Like I said, I'm totally against the sinful practice of smoking but I am so for the personal freedoms we hold so dear in the land of ours. Hey it's a ban on smoking outdoors in Iowa today but tomorrow it'll be a ban on the "offensive" Bible.  Hey any personal freedom lost in America, regardless of what it is, is dangerous for us all. 

Insulated on the mission field far away from Me-ville.

It's not just a little jump from Texas to Croatia. We're not just right around the corner. Texas and Croatia are 5,588 miles apart. Hey that's a long way! We're not talking about a few miles, it takes 9 hours on a plane to get here from the Lone Star State. Once you step off that plane you're in a whole new world. Croatia isn't just another country it's another world. As life begins new here the memories and activities of life in the good 'ol USA are slowly forgotten.

One interesting fact that kinda slapped me in the face our first year in Croatia was that life in the states and at our home church kept on going despite our absence. Church didn't just stop because we were gone, instead it continued to go and grow and kept having victories and defeats along the way. 

Our first furlough we were in total shock at how  much things had changed in just a few short years. I mean people looked different, buildings had changed, couples had been united and some torn apart. The "friends" we had known had forgotten we existed and life in general was totally different. Somehow it moved faster, people jolted from here to there and back again and never came up for air. Another interesting fact was that the fashion in church had changed. It had become much more laid back. Men had started to drop their ties on Wednesdays and flip flops in church were everywhere. I was also in shock that the length of skirts had risen a bit, not to major but a bit. Life had made a major change in just a few years. 

We returned to the field and closed our little box to the rest of the world until our next furlough. Shock!!! I was literally in shock at the change in America. Churches had changed, some completely. I remember the lack of excitement and the overwhelming sense that the church was all about "us" and forget those in the highways and bi-ways. Many churches we visited had decided to drop their bus programs, those we the most dead. The didn't have time for the children and it seemed the Holy Spirit didn't have time to visit their services. 

Our next furlough we took a little early due to financial woes from the whopping Euro but it didn't make the change any different. This time we noticed more than outward appearance which had drastically changed to knee length skirts (knee length if they were standing but sitting was a different story altogether), leggings and long shirts, and the Miami Vice mock turtle neck and blazer of once tie wearers. Something else had changed, the people were different. Those who once had an excellent spirit were very self consumed. Men had become pretty somehow and in more ways than just appearance. Neck lines had plunged and so had attitudes. The the hardest thing was to realize how man had "gone away". People who had stood and preached the cause were now eloping to the new movement of happy church. They weren't only throwing away standards but their beliefs had some how changed. The old faith that was enough to save them was now some how inadequate to save anyone born after 1985.

Through out all these furloughs I noticed a thread of unity in thought; "Life's too short." This wasn't the good kinda "Life's too short.", the kind that says, "The day is short and we must be busy about the Father's business.", no this was a "Life's too short, I'm gonna get the most out of it that I can even if it means letting some really important things go." 

It's been a heartbreak to see so many fall by the wayside. Not deep into sin but way deeper into compromise of right than any Christian should ever even think about going. 

Sadly I've been mistaken about the insulation of the mission field. As it's worked for us it's failed many other missionaries. I have watched as many have somehow caught the "Life's too short." bug and have also fallen by the wayside. 

Something very real and very scary is happening all through our IFBaptist churches. We need to all wake up and take a look around and all of the "Me thinking" going on. Hey there is only one of ME and there are billions of THEM, we're spending way too much time of the ME and not enough on the THEM.

Sometimes we've been called stubborn or hardheaded. PRAISE THE LORD! That stubbornness has kept us firmly planted in the OLD WAYS and we're not moving. My real concern is my children that are getting ready to join the ME life in America. They're getting ready to go off to college and when they do??? I feel like I'm sending them into Sodom somehow and there isn't anything I can do about it. Once they're gone they are gone. Outside of my protection and amidst a world of compromise.

I praise the Lord for the insulation of the mission field but I fear that the walls are breaking down as we speak.

I wonder what will be in 10 years. What will be left for our children. Will the old paths be long forgotten? 

God forbid! We have to stand rigid and unyielding! 1 small step in the wrong direction can be the one that sends us over to ME-ville.

If anything this post has been a warning for me. We are for sure in the last days and if we ever needed to stand we need to stand now.

Here turkey, turkey, turkey

The other day we were buying groceries and I was in awe at all the Christmas merchandise on the shelves. Christmas?? Hello it's just now October so why are marzipan candies and chocolate Santas lining the shelves?? I totally expect this in the all-consuming US to here in Europe they tend to be a bit more traditional. Okay so they don't celebrate Thanksgiving but they usually don't put all the Christmas stuff out yet either.

The all consuming dollar (or what ever currency you use) has pushed the God and family oriented holiday of Thanksgiving off the bus. Yes I did find some Fall-ish napkins but other than that it's pretty much jack-o-lanterns and Santa Clauses.

Along with all other Godly things in the world the holiday of Thanksgiving, set aside to, duh...Give God Thanks will soon be a memory.

I remember waiting till Thanksgiving night when all the hoopla was over and I would turn on the radio because the non-stop Christmas radio would start on Thanksgiving and then it was time to start looking forward to Christmas. Now since the red and green holiday is being forced down our throats so soon it just makes me a little bitter and defiant. I will as always not even think about Christmas until Thanksgiving is over. Okay so maybe a menu, early shopping or so but no red or green or little mangers will be displayed in our humble abode until the carcass of our half-eaten gobbler is cold!

MAD

Wow what a title for a blog, well I am, mad that is. Know why?

Well in the past election we voted at our American Embassy in Zagreb and that was great but this year they changed everything.

This year we had to send off to the states, actually to our county for the ballot and we were suppose to receive the ballot; we would fill it out for McCain of course and return it to be counted but here we are sitting less than a week away and still no ballot. Even if it came today there would be no way to get it returned in time. I'm so hot about this I can't even stand it. There is one silver lining, Texas is already pretty much guaranteed for McCain so my vote wont make a difference in that but still.

Johnny is totally convinced that the "ballot senders" are democrats and that's why the long wait. Could be, dunno, but I'm still mad!

Hey We're Famous!

Well at least in our little town we are. The other day in the town paper and article was written that gave us a bit of publicity, good or bad. Apparently as the article says, it's impossible to walk through the city park without having people jump out and tell you about the kingdom of God. This woman went on to talk about the pamphlets or tracts these lurking predators are handing out and how it was impossible to walk through our park without meeting one of these undercover agents for the Kingdom of God.

Within the same issue we had a member, long standing, come to us with this article in hand to tell us how wrong this practice of evangelizing the strolling public is. His argument is that obviously this isn't right and even embarrassing when people are reporting it in the local paper.

And the lord said unto the servant, Go out into the highways and hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled. It looks pretty clear in Luke 14:23, Go, even into the hedges to compel them to come in.

Anyhow, we're glad that we were reported in the paper, we're even sadly glad that our friend has decided to separate himself from his overly zealous church family because the means that the Devil is mad and so God must be very pleased with the whole situation.

Sorry for the rant!

Just a Little Rant

Well I'm so happy to report that 52 precious souls have been saved in the last 7 days, AMEN!!

I was a bit sad to see the response to the new blog with pictures of the folks who were saved. I know that people don't have tons of time to look at blogs, but these are souls were talking about and it seems that people should be more excited about hearing about a soul being turned from darkness to light, from Hell to Heaven and from a Christless life to a Son of God! We look at what is important to us and in these days and times souls being saved doesn't seem to make too many excited anymore.

Hey I'm excited, I'm shouting, AMEN, PRAISE GOD!!! One more person has been saved from eternity in a fiery hell. It's shouting ground!!

Okay so I ranted a bit, I know maybe I shouldn't have but I did and I think it was okay, even good. I know we're busy as wives, teachers, mothers and so on but our Biblical focus should be souls, if it's not them our priorities are all mixed up. We should be teaching our children to have a love for souls. When we hear of someone being born into the eternal family of God we should rejoice, as our children see us with a true excitement for souls saved they will soon learn that there's nothing more important than a souls being born again. Before long they will want to get in on all that excitement and will in turn become the soul-winners or warners that God wants them to be.

What would life be like for us now if someone hadn't cared about souls? Where would I be? I shutter to think about it. Like I said, I'm ranting a bit but I'm ranting at myself too. My heart has grown a bit cold and indifferent to the plight of the lost man, it's been so long since I was lost, I forgot how glorious it was to be found.

I hope you all know in which spirit I wrote this post, not angry whatsoever, but quite worried about the state of today's Christians.

To be a Christian is to be Christlike and in no better way can we be like Him than to love souls.

God's blessings on you all!!

Tipping Rant #2

Okay yes I know I just did a tipping rant a month and a half ago but I have more to say about this whole thing!!! This whole tipping thing is ridiculously out of hand. Really!!!

The other day we went to Golden Corral for dinner, you know the buffet place. Well after my delish Caesar salad I headed to check out the protein, well I was against when I see the man in the white hat cooking the steaks. Well it wasn't the white hat that was so outrageous, no it was the tipping bucket right out in front. A tipping bucket, come on!!! Are you kidding, we should tip the guy because................................??? Oh yea, he was doing his job!

You know it used to be that people were tipped when they went above and beyond their job to make their customers happy. Now we're suppose to tip them for doing their job???

GC isn't the only place that has me ranting lately, no.... fast food places are getting on board too. My family and I were at Whataburger the other day and as we sat eating our meal the man who had been sweeping the floor and bringing peoples orders to them, well he came to us and said, "I'm the crew leader and I make tips so don't forget me." I couldn't believe what I was hearing, this was Whataburger, where we refill our own drinks, throw our own trash away and you know, swerve ourselves. It took everything we had to sit there and be quiet. We just wanted to ask him what exactly he had done to deserve a tip. Needless to say, we rushed out hoping he didn't see us. As I'm blogging about this I realize he made us feel ashamed for not tipping him,

ashamed for what????

Oh yea and I know I mentioned this last time but I have to give an update of the absurdity or Sonic's tipping. We ordered 4 drinks the other day while traveling and the girl brought out our drinks, handed them to us and Johnny paid her. She then held the change, 60 cents in her hand and proceeded to ask Johnny if he wanted his change. Well duh, yea we wanted our change, why wouldn't we. Then we realized that she was not only waiting for a tip but was asking for one. What has the USA become? The quality of services is deteriorating and the desire to get something for nothing is growing but the strawberry slush!!!

Well I guess I'm finished ranting, well not really but I'm gonna give you folks a break for now. I'm contemplating what to do about this whole thing, maybe I'll boycott Sonic and Starbucks, Whataburger, Golden Corral, and Best Western but more than likely I wont. It'll continue and before long we'll be required to tip the dentist and check out lady at Walmart. Really it's gonna happen, just wait and remember I told you!!! :0)

Tipping at Sonic???

Well I don't do this much but I can't help myself. My latest frustration is tipping, I mean really. I think after being in Croatia for so long where people seldom tip, I must be out of practice. Now don't get me wrong, we tip for good service.

My problem is that the tipping rules have changed. My sister-in-law and I were at Sonic (for you notherners, only the best drink stop around) and after we got our food my sister-in-law asked me "Aren't you going to tip him?" What???? Tip the Sonic Guy, you gotta be kidding. Guess what, she wasn't. Apparently while we were in Croatia the last 7 years, the tipping rules have changed.

Another instance happened today, we're at the motel and we were eating at the continental breakfast and right there on the cabinet, there it was the tip bucket. Okay come on, since when do we tip the woman who cleans and stocks the breakfast bar? She didn't even refill my juice so why would I tip her?

Well I'm putting my foot down, no more tipping unless I think the server deserves it. I'm not going to be bullied into tipping the drive through worker at the local StarBucks just for reaching through the window and handing me my $5 coffee. NO!!! I mean it to.

Please don't think I'm being mean, hey I appreciate good service as much as the next gal but enough is enough. I'm sorry mr. roller skate guy at Sonic, I can't, NO, I refuse to tip you for what you already get paid for. Hey by the way, why would I tip when my order is almost always wrong??? I ask you and leave it with you. ;0}