Diet...Again!

Yes, that's what I said. I'm at it again.

It's crazy how things change so quickly. One day I'm packing up and giving away all my "fat" clothes while chanting to myself, "I will never be that size again" and the next day I'm lamenting over all the "fat" clothes I gave away and wondering how to get them back.

How can the determination needed to lose 65 lbs. dissolve into thin air so soon? How can we go from the rock of Gibraltar to the Tower of Babel in the blink of an eye? I just don't understand how we change so quickly, but we do and I'm proof that we're never safe when it comes to weight loss. We're always in motion, whether that motion is a forward motion, a march in place or a sliding back, we're always in motion. You know, this is true in every part of our life; parenthood, marriage or even and especially or Christian walk. Okay so this is a more carnal post so I'll save that very timely thought for another day. *wink*

So like I said I'm back in the proverbial saddle. I quickly and before I knew it gained a ton of weight back, actually all the weight I lost but 10 lbs. Oddly as it seems the weight gain wasn't the straw that broke the camels back, it was the fact that I felt like my body was falling apart. I wasn't sure if It really was or the effects of turning 41 or what.

I sat down a few weeks ago and wrote a letter kinda to me to remind me how I felt at that time. I don't usually share these things but I'm going to today, who knows maybe it'll help someone. I have deleted a few areas that modesty won't allow me to share but I'm sure you'll still get the jest.

Till now, this is how I feel and some of the strange health symptoms I have.I hurt every where. My back constantly hurts and I have to roll on my side and get up slowly to get up out of bed. My shoulders hurt especially my left one in which I have limited movement and lots of pain as I lift it over my head. My hips hurt when I lie on my sides too long. I feel joint pain often and I'm worrying about arthritis. Every night I'm awakened when my hand, mostly the right one but often both of them, fall asleep and hurt all the way up into my shoulder. They also hurt if I paint or do anything that requires gripping something.When I get up from sitting on the floor I have to get in all fours and push off the floor or grab something for help. Most of the time when I stand up my body is very stiff; my ankles and legs hurt and my back is stiff.I constantly seem to have intestinal gas. I can't eat salad or if I do I have almost immediate diarrhea. My face seems to always be broken out, my skin looks rough and unhealthy. I tend to forget words and have brain fog most of the time. I am fatigued most all days and I almost always need a nap during the day. My hair is very poor quality, it's brittle and breaks easily.I can barely fit into my two black, wool coats, they button but I can hardly breath and I look like it. (Deleted) When I lay down I can hardly see past my stomach even when laying down, my stomach is never flat, also it seems that when I lie down my arms don't lay flat to my sides because of fat on the sides of my chest. I can't wear my wedding band most days because my hands are so swollen in the morning and till late afternoon that the ring won't fit. Also my new black Clark boots almost won't zip over my calf anymore, they have been tight but now when I wear them they are so tight the settle lower on my leg and bunch up. 

When I look In the mirror at my body I don't see pretty or attractive any more. There is no definition to my waist and my legs are bumpy and dimpling from the fat. My shoulders are very rounded and it's hard to see any bones anywhere. I wake in the morning and the first thing I think of is food. I eat when I'm not even

hungry, and without even thinking about it. I never leave food on my plate and I feel ashamed about how often and what I'm eating, I almost never eat fruit or drink milk. 

I'm tired of not living. I ready to change and be happy again. I'm going to do my best to ask for the Lord's help daily for I know I can do nothing without Him. I'm not going to be a perfectionist about it. Instead of counting by days I'm going to work by hours, not days. Every hour counts. 

I'm starting today, about to go weigh and hopefully I'll be back soon with some good reports. Time to take my body back and stop living hostage to it!

So what did I do? Well the first thing I remembered is my mother calling me months ago and telling me she knew what was wrong with me. She said she was watching the Dr Oz show and according to all the symptoms listed I was indeed gluten intolerant. At the time I dismissed it, not convinced at all by this big gluten-free fad but now as I recalled her words I felt a bit of curiosity. I tracked down said "Down with Gluten!" video and took a look-see. I was amazed that some of my specific symptoms were attributed to gluten intolerance. Gluten intolerance actually explained much of the problems I was being plagued with. So I started thinking about cutting gluten altogether. I didn't know if I could and obviously I wasn't the poster girl for self discipline but I was thinking about it. All of the sudden I had a burst of genius and the idea of a low carb diet came to mind. Not only was I addicted to breads and wheat products but I was a sugar addict. I decided to give it a go and downloaded The New Atkins For A New You.

This was perfect, it would make me cut out all the gluten and the sugar. Hold on though, Atkins is tough and not man stick to it so what makes me think I can do it? I didn't know but it was worth a try. 

So my first week was typical. I was sick of meat, eggs and cheese but the fact I could actually have 20 carbs a day and a ton of veggies made it doable. I did however have some major gluten withdrawals and a 10 day headache to prove it. At the end of induction week one I was down 6 lbs! What!?! I ate bacon and cheddar, sour cream and eggs, heavy cream and veggies, I ate till I was satisfied and I still lost 6 lbs! Well today was the end of week two and I'm down another 6 lbs! UNBELIEVABLE! Almost 12 lbs in two weeks? I think I've found my life-long diet soul mate! 

But wait...there's more! After 4 days of the "gluten be gone", campaign I am almost completely pain free! My wrists and fingers were killing me and now there's virtually no pain. My ankles and knees feel normal again. I'm hoping in and out of bed like I'm in my 30s, *wink* and my face has been clear until today (one pimple in two weeks is a huge accomplishment). Yeah skin! Oh yea and there's that pesky problem of have almost no appetite and no cravings at all. It takes the two weeks but if you follow the program it will happen. I actually forgot to eat lunch 3 days In a roll! What? Me, forgetting to eat lunch? Yea, seriously! There are some astonishing improvements in my well being. I feel normal again and I'm 12 lbs. closer to being a normal size again. 

I know I'm in the beginning stages of this whole thing and I know I can change diet directions like the wind but I'm seriously encouraged. Just the lack of pain is amazing. 

I'm finished with my first two weeks of induction and I'm on to extended induction which is totally allowed if you have a pretty piece to lose and I do. 

I'll be posting my results each week and hey if you want to join me, comment and let me know. This can only improve the life God gave me and I'm so thankful for it I don't want to take it for granted any more!